7 brief described ways to guide your
conversations that are more satisfying for you. While these seven skills
are not all a person needs to know about communication and resolving
conflicts, I believe they are many ways to learn communication. But
these will help you in your communication a lot.
1: Listen every conversation more carefully and responsively before expressing your views or feedback to the speaker. Before acknowledging, you should listen to the person with full concentration as there many distractions in the surroundings which can affect your listening badly and even your feedback. Acknowledging another person’s thoughts and feelings does not have to mean that you approve of or agree with that person’s actions or way of experiencing, or that you will do whatever someone asks.
2: In order to enhance your communication. Explain your conversational intent and invite consent. In order to help your conversation partner cooperate with you and to reduce possible misunderstandings, start conversations by inviting your conversation partner to join you on the specific topic you want to have. The more the conversation is going to mean to you, the more important it is for your conversation partner to understand the big picture. Many successful communicators begin special conversations with a preface that goes something like: “I would like to talk with you for a few minutes about subject matter. When would be a good time?” The exercise for this step will encourage you to expand your list of possible conversations and to practice starting a wide variety of them.
3: Try to express yourself more clearly and completely. Slow down and give your listeners more information about what you are experiencing Anytime one person sincerely listens to another, a very creative process is going on in which the listener mentally reconstructs the speaker’s experience. The more facets or dimensions of your experience you share with easy-to-grasp “I statements,” the easier it will be for your conversation partner to reconstruct your experience accurately and understand what you are feeling. Expressing yourself this carefully might appear to take longer than your usual quick style of communication. But if you include all the time it takes to unscramble everyday misunderstandings, and to work through the feelings that usually accompany not being understood, expressing yourself more completely can actually take a lot less time.
4: Translate your (and other people’s) complaints and criticisms into specific requests, and explain your requests. In order to get more cooperation from others, whenever possible ask for what you want by using specific, action-oriented, positive language rather than by using generalizations, “why’s,” “don’ts” or “somebody should’s.” Help your listeners comply by explaining your requests with a “so that...”, “it would help me to... if you would...” or “in order to... .” Also, when you are receiving criticism and complaints from others, translate and restate the complaints as action requests.
5: In order to coordinate our life and work with the lives, we all need to know more of what other people are feeling and thinking, wanting and planning. In order to encourage your conversation partners to share more of their thoughts and feelings, ask “open-ended” rather than “yes/no” questions. Open-ended questions allow for a wide range of responses. For example, asking “How did you like that food/movie /speech/doctor/etc.?” will evoke a more detailed response than “Did you like it?” (which could be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”).
6: To build more satisfying relationships with the people around you, express more appreciation, delight, affirmation, encouragement and gratitude. Because life continually requires us to attend to problems and breakdowns, it gets very easy to see in life only what is broken and needs fixing. But satisfying relationships require us to notice and respond to what is delightful, excellent, enjoyable, to work well done, to food well cooked, etc. It is appreciation that makes a relationship strong enough to accommodate differences and disagreements.
7: In order to have your new communication skills available in a wide variety of situations, you will need to practice them in as wide a variety of situations The Seventh Challenge is to practice your evolving communication skills in everyday life, solving problems together, giving emotional support to the important people in your life, and enjoying how you are becoming a positive influence in your world. This challenge includes learning to see each conversation as an opportunity to grow in skill and awareness, each encounter as an opportunity to express more appreciation, each argument as an opportunity to translate your complaints into requests.
References:-
7 Challenges - A Workbook on Communications by Dennis Rivers, M.A
1: Listen every conversation more carefully and responsively before expressing your views or feedback to the speaker. Before acknowledging, you should listen to the person with full concentration as there many distractions in the surroundings which can affect your listening badly and even your feedback. Acknowledging another person’s thoughts and feelings does not have to mean that you approve of or agree with that person’s actions or way of experiencing, or that you will do whatever someone asks.
2: In order to enhance your communication. Explain your conversational intent and invite consent. In order to help your conversation partner cooperate with you and to reduce possible misunderstandings, start conversations by inviting your conversation partner to join you on the specific topic you want to have. The more the conversation is going to mean to you, the more important it is for your conversation partner to understand the big picture. Many successful communicators begin special conversations with a preface that goes something like: “I would like to talk with you for a few minutes about subject matter. When would be a good time?” The exercise for this step will encourage you to expand your list of possible conversations and to practice starting a wide variety of them.
3: Try to express yourself more clearly and completely. Slow down and give your listeners more information about what you are experiencing Anytime one person sincerely listens to another, a very creative process is going on in which the listener mentally reconstructs the speaker’s experience. The more facets or dimensions of your experience you share with easy-to-grasp “I statements,” the easier it will be for your conversation partner to reconstruct your experience accurately and understand what you are feeling. Expressing yourself this carefully might appear to take longer than your usual quick style of communication. But if you include all the time it takes to unscramble everyday misunderstandings, and to work through the feelings that usually accompany not being understood, expressing yourself more completely can actually take a lot less time.
4: Translate your (and other people’s) complaints and criticisms into specific requests, and explain your requests. In order to get more cooperation from others, whenever possible ask for what you want by using specific, action-oriented, positive language rather than by using generalizations, “why’s,” “don’ts” or “somebody should’s.” Help your listeners comply by explaining your requests with a “so that...”, “it would help me to... if you would...” or “in order to... .” Also, when you are receiving criticism and complaints from others, translate and restate the complaints as action requests.
5: In order to coordinate our life and work with the lives, we all need to know more of what other people are feeling and thinking, wanting and planning. In order to encourage your conversation partners to share more of their thoughts and feelings, ask “open-ended” rather than “yes/no” questions. Open-ended questions allow for a wide range of responses. For example, asking “How did you like that food/movie /speech/doctor/etc.?” will evoke a more detailed response than “Did you like it?” (which could be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”).
6: To build more satisfying relationships with the people around you, express more appreciation, delight, affirmation, encouragement and gratitude. Because life continually requires us to attend to problems and breakdowns, it gets very easy to see in life only what is broken and needs fixing. But satisfying relationships require us to notice and respond to what is delightful, excellent, enjoyable, to work well done, to food well cooked, etc. It is appreciation that makes a relationship strong enough to accommodate differences and disagreements.
7: In order to have your new communication skills available in a wide variety of situations, you will need to practice them in as wide a variety of situations The Seventh Challenge is to practice your evolving communication skills in everyday life, solving problems together, giving emotional support to the important people in your life, and enjoying how you are becoming a positive influence in your world. This challenge includes learning to see each conversation as an opportunity to grow in skill and awareness, each encounter as an opportunity to express more appreciation, each argument as an opportunity to translate your complaints into requests.
References:-
7 Challenges - A Workbook on Communications by Dennis Rivers, M.A
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